Karma
by Ellie Marsy
Summary: Companion fic to 'The Price'. Edward and Emmett plan revenge against Professor Burke.


As promised! Here's the companion fic to 'The Price'! This is a different storyline and therefore much less angsty. I recommend you read 'The Price' first.

Synopsis: Edward and Emmett plan their revenge against Burke after his argument with Jasper.

* * *

Edward drove home from school with Emmett. Rosalie and Bella met up with Jacob and Renesmee after school for a trip to the movies. Alice and Jasper had skipped the rest of their lessons for the day and Edward understood why. He worried about Jasper, who was especially sensitive when it came to topics about his past as a soldier. Jasper was just starting to get used to learning the Confederacy's loss. He worried about what the effect of Burke's class had on his brother. Jasper assured Edward that he was alright, but he knew better than to believe him. Jasper was always one to hide when he was really feeling hurt by something.

He told Emmett about what happened and he was equally furious. Both were protective of Jasper when it came to school, where he was at his most vulnerable. Emmett had already formed a grudge against the balding professor, and the incident today pushed him over the edge.

"Nobody messes with our brother like that," Emmett growled.

So together, they hatched a plan.

They made sure that Carlisle and Esme were out of the house before they begun. Their parents were sure to catch onto their scheme. Once they left, Edward and Emmett grabbed a hastily-packed backpack and took off.

Edward had caught Burke's address as a stray thought in his head. They caught a whiff of his sweaty scent and followed it to his house. Burke's car wasn't parked yet, so they assumed he was still at the school. This was going to be easy.

"This is gonna be good. This is gonna be real good," Emmett snickered as they silently scaled his house.

"Shh. Remember we still gotta avoid getting caught," Edward fumbled with the lock on the window and had it open in a few seconds. It bothered him slightly that when Bella was human, he had become somewhat of an expert and sneaking in through windows.

"C'mon. What could go wrong?"

The moment Emmett stepped set his foot on the floor, he jumped back out.

"What happened?"

"There's... something furry!" Emmett hissed.

Edward peeked in. A large golden retriever lay sleeping peacefully at the bottom of the window. It was large enough so that one bark would alert the whole neighborhood.

"Keep your voice down! Just... watch where you step," Edward held onto the sides of the window and leapt through landing silently in a catlike crouch a few feet away from the dog. Emmett followed suit, landing less gracefully on his stomach.

"C'mon," Edward whispered, pulling Emmett down the stairs.

"Wait!"

"What is it now?" Emmett dug through his bag and pulled out two black facemasks that only a thief would wear during a heist. Edward rolled his eyes. "Are you frickin' kidding me?"

"Edward, we are already here at his house with our stuff and our evil intentions. You might as well humor me."

Edward glared at Emmett's puppy-eyed pout and roughly snatched the facemask from his hand. He begrudgingly put his mask on while Emmett laughed goofily. Of all the people Edward chose to do this with, it had to be Emmett.

They climbed down the stairs and were met with the asphyxiating smell of hair gel and floor wax. The floorboards of his house were polished so thoroughly, Edward saw the wood starting to get eaten away by the chemicals. The walls were decked with various sketches of political figures and paintings of wars that it was impossible to see the color of the walls they hung on. He noticed a series of trophies and degrees on a mantelpiece. Emmett suddenly grabbed his arm. "Edward..."

Edward turned to the direction Emmett indicated and felt as if he could have puked. There was one separate wall lined with charcoal portraits of all the past presidents of the United States. At the very end was the biggest and most flamboyant one, which was of Burke himself.

"Alright, let's do this," To emphasize his point, he dramatically tugged his mask down over his face. He started on the mantelpiece while Emmett began doodling on the portraits. Edward spotted the Masters' Degree from Harvard which Burke had so blatantly bragged in front of Jasper's face. He scanned the meticulously framed certificate and felt a twinge of guilt before shamelessly dropping it into a bowl of dog food.

"Hey, Ed," Emmett chuckled with a wide dopey grin. He had sketched disturbingly realistic breasts on Burke's portrait.

Edward hesitantly proceeded to Burke's bedroom, afraid of what he would find. The bedcovers were a copy of the American flag. Toy soldiers lined shelves on the wall. There was a picture of Burke by his bedside table doing a very poor job of looking like an action star, posing with a rifle. Edward was starting to wonder if he truly knew what the term disturbing meant before he went into the house. He walked into the closet, which was filled with several satin pajamas and dusters of various colors. Edward grimaced and started taking them down. He dug into his backpack and pulled out several brightly colored and slim dresses and hung them all over the closet. He had used the dresses which Alice claimed was no longer usable after they had already been worn. Edward bit back his laughter.

He turned around and nearly jumped. The golden retriever was standing in the doorway, staring at him with innocent eyes. Its tail wagged slightly and Edward noticed its mouth twitching as if it were going to bark.

"Shh, doggy. It's okay. Please don't bark..." Edward suddenly wished he had Jasper's calming ability.

His eyes widened when he heard the sound of a car pulling up on the driveway. He heard Burke's familiar train of thought.

_Yes, today you did an excellent job again. You've truly outdone yourself, Mister Burke._

Edward glanced back at the dog, which started to bark. "Shit! Emmett!" he hissed.

He found Emmett in the laundry room replacing laundry soap with ketchup, still laughing goofily.

"Em, we gotta go! Burke's here!"

"Oh, c'mon! We gotta see his reaction!"

"Emmett, if we get caught-"

"We are two athletic vampires, Ed. Do you really think we're gonna get caught by some stuck-up geezer? We came all this way! Let's just wait and see his priceless scream of rage and terror!"

A car door slammed and Edward heard the sound of Burke fumbling with his keys. Edward growled slightly and pulled Emmett into the living room into a cramped closet. They peaked through the door. The dog ran to the front door, pawing it eagerly. Edward held his breath as the door finally opened.

Burke dropped his suitcase to the floor. Emmett had done an impressive job of rearranging the sofas and chairs on top of each other. He had vandalized several of the paintings and arranged some of Burke's fruit in quaint little formations around the floor. Burke's gaze dropped down to the retriever, who was pacing in front of him with its tail wagging uncontrollably.

"Theodore," Burke said. "Did you do all this?"

Theodore made a low sound in his throat and looked toward the closet Emmett and Edward were hiding in.

_Dammit, he must have gotten a hold of some chocolate again._

"Well," Burke's voice was cold and steely. "I have to admit, this is somewhat impressive. I didn't call you Theodore for nothing. You truly do emulate the innovation of Roosevelt himself."

He ruffled the top of Theodore's head and settled into his home.

"What the-"

Edward elbowed Emmett in the stomach.

"Theodore! Is this ketchup?!" Burke called from the laundry room.

Edward cursed. The man was confused and disappointed, but didn't seem to be feeling the anger he should be experiencing.

"Theodore! My Masters' Degree does NOT belong in your food bowl!"

Burke began tidying up the stray bits of fruit and furniture. His eyes turned to his portrait, which was now clad in a bikini and fishnet stockings and donned a large mustache. He stopped abruptly and glanced at Theodore who continued to whine and gesture to the closet. He looked back at the painting. He turned to a mirror and started to admire his lip, fumbling with an invisible mustache. Emmett gagged.

Burke made his way up to his bedroom and Emmett tiptoed after him with a mischievous grin.

"Emmett, don't!" Edward and Theodore followed him.

Burke turned on the shower and opened his closet door. Edward watched as he stared at his new wardrobe for several minutes. He pulled out a satin duster which once belonged to Rosalie and placed the slim dress on his large and stout body. He placed it back in the closet and walked to the bathroom, his expression completely blank and bewildered.

After he was sure that Burke was in the shower, Emmett walked toward the bathroom. Edward silently marveled at how his brother never thought about his actions before doing them. "Emmett..."

Emmett emerged with several rolls of toilet paper and shaving cream. Burke was still humming in the shower, oblivious to the intrusion. He tossed a roll to Edward and winked. Edward rolled his eyes and proceeded to decorate the hall with streams of toilet paper. Emmett squirted cream all over the walls, which Theodore began to lick.

They heard Burke shut off the shower and pull the curtain aside. Edward pulled Emmett into a nearby room and shut the door before Theodore followed them.

"Dammit, Theodore!" Burke's face was contorted into an ugly grimace. He wore a feminine-looking lilac bath robe which must have been his own since Edward didn't recall bringing it in his backpack. He glared at Theodore, who sat down in front of him and whined, a fleck of shaving cream still on his snout. Burke stomped into his room.

"Man, for a history expert, this guy sure is thick," Edward muttered. They were in what looked like a storage room. There were several gun replicas and life-size mannequins. Several boxes and cans of paint were stacked in a corner and were filled with books and what appeared to be costumes. Edward watched Burke scold Theodore. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the dog. It couldn't be an easy to task to have to live with this man. He suddenly felt something sharp poking his back. He turned around and groaned.

"I swear to god, Emmett."

Emmett was clad in a Civil War soldier costume, complete with a soldier's helmet and a bayonet replica. He wore the same goofy grin. "Check it out, Ed! Now Jasper's not the only soldier in the family!"

Edward grabbed the bayonet and pushed it away from him. The blade tip was covered in red paint, which Emmett added on purpose. He grabbed onto Emmett's arms, which were pretending to fire at invisible enemies. "Emmett, stop it now!"

_All these_ _women's clothes… I swear I just bought a new pair of pajamas. I'll have to wear something from the storeroom..._

"Emmett, he's coming!" Edward backed into the boxes and tripped on what looked like a toy soldier. He stopped his fall with his arms at the cost of his shirt, which was ripped as the bayonet stuck to his back, scraping against his marble skin.

At that moment, the door opened and Burke stood in the doorway. His eyes fell on Edward, who was down on the ground, apparently bleeding with a knife stuck to his back. He still had his facemask on, though his pale hands gave him the appearance of the dead man. Burke looked at Emmett who was clad in a Confederate uniform, his face also obscured and his bayonet covered in blood. Theodore peeked into the room and wagged his tail.

Burke let out a blood-curdling and very effeminate scream. He ran down the stairs, continuing to scream hysterically.

_They're back!! The Confederates!! They're coming after me!!_

He ran into his car, still clad in his bathrobe and drove far away from his house. Edward stared at the exact spot Burke had been standing, his mouth wide open. Emmett took a seat next to him with a same expression. They both took off their facemasks and slowly turned to face each other.

"Mission accomplished," Edward grinned.

"That... was... awesome," Emmett replied, his expression still awe-struck.

Theodore sat next to them, his tail still wagging.

____

The next morning Jasper approached them, his face filled with suspicion.

"Professor Burke just resigned, claiming it was for the good of his mental health and that he wants nothing more to do with Confederate soldiers."

Edward and Emmett looked at each other and shrugged.

"Karma, I guess," Edward replied nonchalantly while Emmett gave another dopey grin.


End file.
